Life: How to make your wishes come true in 2018 and beyond

I'm enjoying my Winter break. Working on projects, exercising, relaxing,...I am doing whatever I enjoy, intentionally taking my mind off from daily work. That is the idea of "vacation". Like a painter steps back from his painting and looks at it with a different perspective, such a time is needed.


As a part of my Winter break routine, I was writing up plans for 2018 and beyond. While doing so, I read my journals for past 10 years.

I was surprised by the fact that many of the resolutions, dreams, and wishes did come true.


I also noticed that there was a clear distinction between wishes that came true and that did not. 

The difference was whether I wrote it down, whether I did something about it, and whether I believe it strong enough in taking actions.


In other words, if I write it down, and take actions with conviction, it comes true, although it may take longer time than originally anticipated. 


"Thoughts and prayers" are good for clarifying your wishes at the initial stage. But you need actions with conviction to make them come true. Otherwise, "thoughts and prayers" are as good as "just saying".



In 2017 in my scientific research, we discovered something interesting with high disease relevance in the lab. One of my wishes for 2018 is to extend the research to the point that actual translational research begins while building a team of collaborators. In 3-5 years I want current concept to be tested in clinic. I've written my plans down in detail, and have started working on them. I anticipate the wishes to come true.

Work as a scientist is unique. The outcomes of medical research can impact millions if translated to clinic. It is exciting.



Note: As a scientist, I need to distinguish laws of nature and cultural rules/promises/wishes among humans. Here I am only talking about personal wishes within my own circle of influence, and not about bending laws of nature or single-handedly solving big issues like peace in middle east or fixing corruption in politics. Also, probably it is not a good idea to mess with someone else's free will or his/her pursuit of happiness, unless the will or pursuit is harmful to others.

Dance: Tango workshop and performance move lesson w Hugo Patyn (12/16-12/17/2017)

Last weekend in OKC, we had an Argentine Tango workshop with Hugo Patyn. He was traveling the US for performance and workshops for a while, but recently came back to his US-base, Dallas.

Past 2-3 months I was focusing on my research project and proposals, and was a little "out of shape" in dancing. Just having fun with social dancing once a week, with or without some wine,....which is fine. But to dance seriously, things like balance and posture were off.  Your body is honest. It is the instrument for dancing. It shows either way, if you worked on it or not.

Still, Hugo was here. So I requested a performance class using a private lesson slot. It should be more interesting.

He gave me choices; lifts, figures, or gancho/boleo. I picked lifts. 

We cannot use lifts in milonga. But social Tango in milonga and Stage Tango are different games. To me, it is a limiting belief to reject moves simply because we cannot use them in milonga.

I'll see these new moves as a "seed". In many cases I need to sleep on a new move for me to be able to use it. Might as well plant the seed now. It would make a difference after some time.


The lesson started with basic warm up. Then proceeded to practice basic moves that are used for lifts, like twist-pivot, cross-legged positions, and rotation around axis.

In these lifts, follower's weight is supported by the lead. We need to be good at supporting, balancing, timing, preparing,...and all these come down to how good we can do these "basic moves".

Then we took a partner. After the hour, we took video for demo. We also took video of me for learning purpose. It was not difficult to feel which part I was weak at. It was showing, too. Hmm.

Comparing videos of Hugo's demo and my shaky practice, there has been many points noticed to work on. It was good.


I got to practice the basics, if I want to "grow the seed" and also if not want to waste the lesson fee.

To some extent, it's like practicing a "set play" in sports, like practicing free throw for basketball or serving for tennis. Once we get what to practice and have a good form in mind, then, quantity yields quality.


A friend of mine once said, "Tango is, like, ballet or something". Actually, it is true, especially for Stage tango. Tango is a traditional art with 100+ years of history.



The lesson was Sunday and now is Monday. Both my flanks sore. See, body is honest. I should start exercising in upcoming winter break.

Life: two axes of judgement; Merit and Moral

There are a few weeks remaining for 2017. This year, there have been so much theatricality in American politics (and it is still ongoing).

In many cases, I thought "it's messed up".


To ensure my sanity, sometimes I needed to check my basis of judgement. For the judgement purpose on politics, I usually use two axes; (i) Merit and (ii) Moral.


(i) is simple; "Will it benefit me and people around me, or not." Benefit can be time, money, labor, relations, products, etc. Now or in the future.

(ii) is also simple. "That is acceptable or unacceptable (or, right or wrong), based on my value system".


Unless (i) and (ii) conflict, the process is easy. I'll take "merit-acceptable", and run from "demerit-unacceptable".


They say, thinking and judging takes mental power, just like hard physical activity makes you tired. Too much thinking and judging drains energy; probably it is true. So I want to keep my process of judgement simple.

This year, it was brought to my attention that there are people with blatantly different value system from mine. That was why I started to pay more attention to people around. What kind of value system he/she has, how he/she acts, on what principle, and what's in it for him/her.


In my judgement, I predict some people would remain successful or unsuccessful. Others may deserve better life.  .....But it's their life. I'd say nothing.


Unless the person change his/her way of thinking and acting from within, the universe is going to stay the same for him/her. That is for certain.




Oh, and I almost forgot to say one important thing. 

I don't have to judge everything. 

There are many things that I don't know well about, I have no relations to, or that don't concern me. Just leave them be. It's good for sanity, too. 

Only when the particular issue would get involved in my life a few steps ahead, I'd think about it. I can ignore Fox news and some tweets entirely and live just fine (or probably it's better than just fine).

Dance: What makes your dance look "good" or "less good"?

Look at these Tango dancers, number 1, 2, 3, and 4.

Which one do you think most advanced? Or, which one looks like beginners?

You have no idea who they are. You may not even dance Tango. But you can group them in "more advanced" and "less advanced", correct?

As you saw it in the photo, it does not matter how long they have danced or how much they've spent. Dancers can be judged by just a glance.

When we look at dancers, postures and lines are most critical. 

It's a pattern recognition. Even with photos with blurry artistic effect, you can see it.


Dancers 1 and 2 show straighter, longer, and more defined lines. "Tilt" in the lines means that they have more interdependent balance, which makes them look more advanced.


There are social Tango dancers who proclaim how it looks does not matter.

Well, it does. There is an art in the dance. It's not all about how you feel.

Go beyond such a limiting belief and start working on your posture and lines, if you want to look good quickly.






After seeing that "looting in the chaos" tax vote, I feel like posting something pithy.

Book: "Unscripted" by MJ DeMarco

This book is written by an entrepreneur/author MJ DeMarco. He made his wealth in the IT industry, and is actually rich, owning Lamborghini (so he says). That qualifies him as an entrepreneur guru.



During Thanksgiving break, I spent some time to read this 400 page book. The time was well spent.


He has another book "Millionaire Fastlane" (2011). Previously I read the book and liked it (recommended). That was why I picked up his new book "Unscripted".

[Book cover]

He belongs to a school of business book writers, which is what I call the "super honest and cut the BS" school. I love the school.


We all have some form of interest and intent when we say or write something. You can play a game of "guess his/her interest and intent" when you see a piece of information, writing, or even a Facebook post. What's in it for him/her?

Sometimes it is intent to sell something. Other times, it is intent to influence. Or to manipulate. Or to impress. Or,....

I find the "game of guess" quite fun. But others may find it abrasive or crude, depending on the narration.


The no-BS, no euphemism, bottom line version of the world can look amazingly different. The author guide readers to see the "Script", interests and intents covered with lies by others. Once you read through the book and understand his version of reality, there is a worldview with clarity that should serve well for entrepreneurs. The narration you give matters, to you and to your actions that affect your future. 

I value books that challenge prevailing paradigm as well as my own old stiff worldview. This book was one of such books.


Another reason I liked the book is that I found similarities in the thought processes of entrepreneur and of scientist.

Both need to cut the BS. Delusions are enemy for both. Both have to endure the process. Both have to try many times, until entrepreneur gets market feedback or scientist gets positive result from the nature and from the funding agencies. "Does it work?" is a very meaningful question for both.


They say, contemporary science is becoming like business. I agree. Then, reading and learning entrepreneurship should serve scientists, too. That was my interest and intent for reading this book.



The book had much to offer. I can tell he is good at what he does. The book is fully recommended for entrepreneurs and, strangely, for scientists.

Life: Adios, Malibu, Hello, CTS (replaced my car)

I replaced my car on 11/15/2017. I've kept my car, Chevy Malibu 2002, for so long, exactly 14 years. Proper farewell note should be due.


In 2003, the car before the Malibu blew transmission in the middle of nowhere (Kansas-Oklahoma border area) and got me stranded. I was on my way to that year's OK/KS swing dance contest in Wichita, KS. Fortunately someone in the swing dance club picked me up on his way to the event. 

I rented a car for a week, and searched a car. There came the Malibu. It was used but still new.


The car had been my main ride since then. It went everywhere, with surprisingly low maintenance and few breakdowns.

Only with regular oil change (4-5k) and occasional tire or headlights bulb replacements, the car just kept going. There were acceptable repairs every now and then for water pump, engine gasket, flat tire, timing belt, misfire, A/C gas, etc. etc. Nothing to lose mind about. No major accident, either.

However, with the car gradually piling up small inconveniences and cosmetic issues, I decided to let it go on the anniversary. I am taking on new projects in my work. I feel like something new is due for my life.


You can connect memories for your own life time with someone you spent time with, where you lived, or something you owned. Homes, friends, girlfriends, pets, cars, ...they can be a personal reminder to define your past era. And this car will be marking my 2003-2017.

Many thanks for the long years of service.

[Chevy malibu 2002: 11/15/2003-11/15/2017: 233096 miles]

Since the long-lasting Chevy restored my trust on American car, I got a Cadillac CTS this time. It's supposed to be an upgrade. Let's see where the new ride takes me to.

Science: Team building time

I've started working on two grant proposals, due Feb 2018. 

I've kept myself busy, but this is a good kind of "busy". It is similar to painters getting busy to paint, or dancers to dance. Although some professional pain is involved, it is not really a painful pain.


The very first thing for grant writing is to decide the scope of the proposal and what to do. 

Once the scope and the aims are decided, I can write down "Specific Aims" section. Then, I determine what will be needed to achieve the aims.


When "what will be needed" is determined, next question is "who will be doing which part". Here comes the need for team building.

Past 2-3 weeks were the time for the team building. We do have core skills and expertise to complete a majority of the aims. But there are some that we better ask for help. True, we "can" do them in our lab. But with help from experts, getting the job done will be easier and the outcome will be better.


Many traditional Role Playing Games have taught us that we need a Hero, a Wizard, a Cleric and a Thief to eventually slay the Dragon and save the Princess. People with different skills are needed to achieve a goal. Time to use what we learned.


Perhaps, slicing and dicing the aims into smaller tasks and outsource as much parts as we can to outside experts and specialists to get them done efficiently; that may be the fitting style for conducting a science project in the 21st century. "Do everything in house" is obsolete, I'm afraid.


Anyway, we need to collaborate some parts of the project.

To set up collaborations, an important thing to consider is "what's in it for me and for them". Only mutually beneficial, win-win collaboration would work.

In this case, luckily we have a win-win project very interesting for both sides. Team building has been going smoothly.


I'll be working on the proposals for upcoming months, along with some other related work. It will be fun for me, although some will not get why I'm saying it will be fun.

["The Fellowship of the Ring"]

[At an early stage of an adventure, there is usually a "team building" phase. "Seven Samurai" follows the same pattern.]

Dance: OK/KS state championship 2017; How do you deal with uneven coupling?

On 11/3-5 weekend, there was the OK/KS state swing dance championship in Tulsa, OK.

The contest used to be an annual "friendly contest" among participating seven swing dance clubs in OK and KS states. Although there has been some reorganization and drop out of some clubs, there are still four clubs carrying out the contest this year.


I went there on 11/4 Saturday night for some social dance and for watching the contest.


While watching strictly swing contest, I was making mental notes for judging, just for fun.

There were several couples. After watching them all, there were a few couples I picked for winners, according to my judgement.


One couple was evenly matched. Both could move well. Skills and presentation were good.


Another couple was slightly uneven, with a stronger-looking follower.

Usually in West Coast Swing contest settings, female followers are stronger as dancers than the male leaders (at least in amateur-level and in the same level category). Possibly, the look is emphasized by a characteristics of WCS that she has to move more (that means, her motions and executions tend to affect the overall look of the dance more). At the same level, he could get away with a little more amateurish motions in many cases.

I'm not complaining or anything. It's just how the game of WCS is practiced. It actually is rare to find an evenly-matched, both attractive dancer-couple.   ...I digress. 


The second couple was inserting a few showy moves that highlights her clean execution in the dance. It was a good strategy. These moves were memorable. After all, it is a contest, and there is nothing wrong with preparing something to win for the contest. 


Apparently the judges collectively saw it in similar way. These two couples got the second and the first places.

In judging, clean and memorable moves tend to score higher. There are some room for a couple for planning and for making a strategy for a contest. With good planning, you can score higher than an overall stronger couple. Watching the plan and its execution is also a way to enjoy and appreciate contests.


..... above was one of my thoughts. I enjoyed social dancing and chatting with friends. It was a good time.

[OK/KS state swing dance championship, 11/4/2017]

Life/Science: Time to be honest. Eat meat first.

October 2017 is going fast.

Regarding my science research project that is taking me to a new direction, I have been doing my homework. Today, I was asking a consultation to my colleague about an idea.

After a few email exchange, she closed her email with a sentence; "You are the leader to think what direction you want to lead your story."


Ha. She's right.


Since the manuscript has not been accepted, I cannot write any detail about the project yet. But that is an interesting project with potentially a big reward.

In that case, probably I need to be very honest to myself now. Be clear about what I want to do and what I do not want to do (or what I can and cannot do). There will not be a time to waste on a side project that is only modestly interesting.


Eat meat first. Keep it simple.


I leave this thought in this blog for my own reminder.

[Steak photo in Wikipedia]

 [by https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9924437]

Book: "Capitals for Happiness-- Three Capitals for happiness and 8 combinations of them" by Akira Tachibana (Japanese)

Are you happy? If so, why do you feel happy? What makes you happy?


These are important questions in your life. The book gave me a nice framework to answer the questions.


This book is one of my Japanese Amazon purchases, "Capitals for Happiness (幸福の資本論)" by Akira Tachibana (橘玲).


The author asserts there are three Capitals for your happiness.

  (1) Financial capital/ money and freedom it can buy
  (2) Human capital/ your ability to work and earn satisfaction from it
  (3) Social capital/ Friends, family, and other human connections



You can draw your happiness from any of these three Capitals. 

The author defines the state of "poor" as lack of all. In the case, it will be hard to be happy (imagine that).



Depending on your personality, your emphasis or reliance on a particular capital varies from others. 

For example, if you are an introvert, your reliance on social capital to be happy may be less than that of extroverts. 

Or you may be used to tell yourself that money doesn't matter. You may have found ways to stay happy without money.


Since there are three Capitals, you will have 8 patterns of combination of them.

If you are retired, you may have money and friend, but may not have a satisfying work.

If you don't have a lot of money, you can still be happy with fine job and friends, or with friends alone or with fine job alone.

When you earn a lot of money and have a rewarding and satisfying job, you may get by with few friends.

etc.etc.

The author points out that (1) money and (3) family/friends tend to have a conflict, so it may not be easy to achieve "have them all". Sounds convincing.


This concept is very helpful to understand what you value for your happiness, and what kind of "portfolio" of the Capitals you currently have.


Personally, I would be happy with money and satisfying work (and some good friends). I'd aim for that combination as my goal. 

But naturally your optimal portfolio and combination of the Capitals will be different. You may be one of these people who says FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!!. If it works for you, good for you.


I like the book's concept, because it allows each of us to decide the portfolio for Happiness. It pleases my libertarian-ish part of character.


Recent America is in an era of politicizing everything, and both ends (both right and left) can lead to totalitarian/authoritarian approach that tries to enforce their idea on others. Beat it. Let people pursue their own way of Happiness (and don't infringe others).

                              [We had a Birthday/Halloween WCS Party on 10/21/17]

Dance/Life: Tulsa Fall Fling 2017, Laptop shopping

Last weekend (10/14/2017) there was a mini (one-day)-event of West Coast Swing, Tulsa Fall Fling, in Tulsa, inviting Kyle Patel from Kansas City as featured instructor.


Depending on the year, this fall event fluctuates in the size. When they decide to meet conditions to be a Swing Dance Council point event (like Tulsa Spring Swing), it takes a lot more efforts to organize, but the event attracts contest-conscious and point-hungry dancers from neighboring states and gets bigger. When not, the event stays relatively small and local. Contemporary WCS is practiced that way around here, apparently.

But "relatively small and local" does not mean there was no energy. It was the opposite. The party was fun. They had Newcomer and novice-level Jack and Jill and Strictly Swing, both gathering 15-18 couples.  

I'll keep this entry short, because my home laptop died and I don't want to take too much time to write today.


Following is my Facebook post as an obituary for the Lenovo. [10/18/2011-10/17/2017]

"My laptop died exactly 6 years after the purchase. Fair enough. It traveled to Japan four times, published two books, helped writing several papers, survived a marriage, and bought many items online. RIP. May the replacement HP be as productive as (or more productive than) the Lenovo." 



My work is done in my office, so I don't need all the software for professional work. At home I don't play video games nor very fussy about graphics. So the new laptop does not have to be state-of-the-art and fancy-and-pricey. I don't see laptop as a status symbol, either. I'll just buy what I need. Recent 7th gen i7 chip should be able to handle all the tasks. I'd have to get used to Windows 10, though.

I'd prefer not to mess with existing windows files and work environment. Although I used to use Mac, switching to Mac now is like switching religion. It takes a lot.


This time I picked up 17 inch screen. I don't plan to travel with it very often, so size disadvantage for carrying does not count much. Larger screen should be easier for my eyes. I'll give it a try.


I'll be picking up the replacement this Saturday from the shop. Let's see how the new one perform. 

And I got to make sure the backup was working properly.

Science: work to end something, work to begin something

Today we sent out a research manuscript to a journal. Fingers crossed.


Each manuscript or publication has a meaning.

There are research manuscripts that are to end something, like reporting results from a funded grant or a completed project.

And there are research manuscripts that report a beginning of something.


The manuscript we sent out today is the latter. 


I do not know how the manuscript would be received by the journal and editors yet. But this work has certainly been an exciting one for me, and we will continue to work on the projects that have spawned from the work.

[Scientists (top panel) are so cool. Much cooler than some gods (lower panel)]

((What's with the helmet !?))

Dance: Matt Auclair WCS workshop and party (9/30/2017)

Last weekend we welcomed Matt Auclair, six time US open champion and excellent WCS teacher, from St Louis, MO.

The workshops and following party were held at OKC swing dance club, and gathered good crowd.

He has been active since his childhood, and has a long career. Former OKC swing dance club director Paul was boasting his long time knowing Matt since Matt's childhood.  


Matt has a recognizable style. 

If I call a dominant leader's style in contemporary WCS a "cat"-style, which is smooth, slick, cool, and use high contrast in stillness and quick motion (think Jordan Frisbee), Matt's style is a "dog"-style.

The "dog"-style is energetic, fun, step more on the beat, solid yet not boring, and probably easier to follow by most than a cat. The musicality is excellent. He has some signature moves (like the "wash machine"). And above all, entertaining. 


In fact, he has been a very strong contender in invitational Jack and Jill. I've seen him won many J&J. And there is no wonder. In his winning dance, his partner shines, too. It's very important in partner dances.

J&J is supposedly a contest category for social dance. Dancers draw each other from a pool of partners, and dance to a song picked by the DJ, meaning that the dancers do not know the partner or the song beforehand. In the situation, a dance in which both seem enjoying and having fun can easily stand out.


I had a chat with Ben (Clemons) who was in charge of inviting Matt. We agreed that Matt is popular and is dependable in gathering crowd here.

And that is a crucial trait for a professional. He is good.


Thank you, Matt, for coming to OKC.

Dance: Sunday public milonga in Tulsa (4th Sundays PM5:30-8:00)

Past 4-5 months, Tango dancers in Tulsa have been holding a monthly milonga ("Matinee milonga") on the 4th Sunday at All about Cha cafe/restaurant in Downtown Tulsa. Using a corner of the cafe, it starts around 5:30pm and ends on 8:00pm when the cafe/restaurant closes.

Several years back, they used to have a Sunday evening milonga at More than noodle restaurant. The new milonga in All about Cha is a reincarnated version of the milonga in public in cafe/restaurant.


I checked out the milonga on 9/24/2017. It had been a while since I visited Tulsa for milonga last time. Thank you for welcoming, Tulsa dancers.


The place was nice. The green latte and cake were nice snacks to accompany the party.

The song happened to be alternative songs, but you can request your favorite Tango if you like. About 15-18 people were there, including 5 people from Stillwater and 1 from OKC (me).


If you are in the area and interested, check it out.

Matinee milonga
All About Cha  201 S Cheyenne Ave, Tulsa, OK
4th Sundays, 5:30-8:00pm


You should be able to find a notice in facebook through Casa Tango (Tango in Tulsa).

Science: Propose what you want to do

October is one of grant deadline dates for NIH grants. NIH RO1 grants are major research grants for which researchers in academia are aiming. In a year, there are three grant application cycles, whose deadlines are coming in Feb, Jun, and Oct.

The success rate has been decreasing over years. Currently, the rate is about 7-9%. Most proposals will be "not funded".


With that background, on occasion we have a "feedback party" for a written proposal.

During last week's program meeting with several Professors and junior faculties, we had one of the grant feedback session. There are still a few weeks before the deadline, so some of the feedback may be incorporated in the final, submitted version of grant proposal.


Although I am not sending an RO1 for this cycle (aiming for Feb, after sending off current manuscript), such meeting is a good opportunity to work on grantmanship. 


One of interesting comments was, "Propose what you want to do".

The comment was for an experiment. It tests central idea of the proposal. But it looks somewhat ambitious, to cover all the parameters.

"Ambitious" is not necessarily a positive word in grant review. Actually, it is a word saying "you look like trying to bite more than you can chew".

The comment was essentially saying to cut back on some endpoints and focus on what you really want to do, instead of trying to do everything at one time.


When we want to cover all the basis, the experiment will bloat. You'll need more manpower, endpoints, samples, analyses, and budget.  But alas you cannot do all.

Hence, "Propose what you want to do", focusing on testing central idea, is an important viewpoint.



Adding some for people interested in medical research:

There are grants coming in different sizes (in budget and in time frame). An RO1 is one of big ones, for 5 years, 250k/yr (with modular budget). That is big enough for supporting the PI, a Research assistant and a postdoc or a student, while paying for reagents and other costs. 

But come to think of it. Size of an RO1 is not too big. It is like running a tiny family business. It is not sufficient to do big science like sending someone to Mars. 

Biomedical science is supported by many, relatively small research proposals. Each grant makes a "unit" of research.

Since each unit is small, in a sense, research infrastructure is fragile. If a grant for a rare disease is discontinued, the disease research may be gone entirely.

If you have a simple notion of "big evil government", in science practice, the idea is wrong. If you apply wrong idea on the research ecosystem, you can kill the system, along with your cure for cancers or Alzheimer's in the near future. Be careful.