Life: Memorial Day 2014, or, How do we remember?

It's Memorial Day holiday in the US. Officially, fallen public servants such as military and police officers are remembered. In a more expanded practice, someone or people close to us and passed away are remembered on this day as well.

When we remember someone, there is always judgement on our side involved.

We may remember a person with positive light, negative light, or with mixed feelings. 

Alternatively, we may choose not to remember the person at all. Maybe as a form of personal punishment or revenge, that reflects our negative judgement. Maybe remembering is still emotionally disturbing, in which case is personal protection.

So, how do we reach to our judgement?

Memory is created when we perceive ongoing event. So our perception can affect it.

Memory is narrated and given a meaning in our head. That creates associated emotions in our heart. The narration and meaning, or what we explain to ourselves, and associated emotions, are main ingredients of the judgement we pass on to the memory.

Then later we remember the event with the judgement and emotions. Like they say, we remember how the person made us feel. Emotions tend to linger stronger than what we thought at the moment. 


From this line of thinking I draw a few lessons for myself.

Firstly. Memory depends on my perception and judgement. So it can be highly biased and personal.

Secondly. My judgement was what I chose to make. I may have a tendency to see an event in one way, but there are other ways to interpret the event, which may lead to other ways to judge the event. Childhood memories can be re-interpreted through adults' eyes, for example.

Thirdly. I do not want to be negatively affected by mere memories. I'd rather choose positive view for my memories. Choosing to live with negative memories are like poisoning self. I'm not going to like it.


Finally. The fallen, they had their lives. Only when we let their lives affect our life through our memory, they may live on in us. How much power they have on us depends on us. In the sense, they are utterly powerless but can be powerful.

Memorial Day is a special day for me to remember all these things.



PS
I do like to plan ahead. And believing in Karmic law in life, I consider the influence of my past actions projected on to my current and future life. To plan ahead with accuracy, I want  my memories, assessments of my past, to be as close as to the "real" events.

Probably this is why I value honesty. I like bitter honesty better than sugar-coated words to please, because pleasing words would skew my views and eventually blind me.

PS2

Yesterday I washed my cat. There is a skunk occasionally wondering around the neighborhood, and he absorbed the stench. Fortunately the bathing solved the problem.

Dance: Kizomba feels so good

Last weekend there was a Kizomba instructor visiting OKC from Dallas.

I knew nothing about Kizomba. The event notice said, "Kizomba is an African dance, a hybrid of Bachata and Argentine Tango." It got me interested, so I went and took an hour introductory class.

The instructor, Charles Ogar, was enthusiastic and was very good at teaching the basics. The class was fun. 

If you can teach basics in an hour enough for a novice of the dance to enjoy the dance, the dance has a potential to gain good popularity quickly. "Easy to learn" is an important character for a dance to invite many new dancers. Tango might be suffering from this a bit.


Since I had some other engagement the next day, I could not attend his other classes. But I did check out some Kizomba videos on YouTube later.

Here is a short summary I figured so far about Kizomba dance.

The "Argentine Tango"-ish aspects were;

(1) The leader specifies which leg she stands on, so he can have some idea about her leg placement, and lead.
(2) As such, it is a lead-follow dance that requires "surrender" on her part.
(3) The leader interprets the song, alternates or chooses basic dance rhythms and invites her to dance with the music. This opens the room for musicality.
(4) It can be danced VERY close. The close-hug basic position is called "kissing position".

The point (4) may require some more elaboration, because, probably this is one of the most striking aspect of this dance for a novice. A roomful of closely hugging dancers, some eyes closed, would have an impact on uninitiated people for sure.

Since I am used to Tango, or, once learned a closed (sexy) style of Bachata from a guy from Houston, I am not easily surprised by "hugging-and-close" kind of dance. But Kizomba is taking it to another level. Tango's milonguero style maintains contact through chest, but the legs are still somewhat apart for adding some "show" or for maneuverability. But in Kizomba you can use entire body, including your leg, to glue together.

The instructor explained that the dance is not showy-flashy kind of dance. I agree. With that kind of closeness, there may not be much room to add extra move to be flashy.

When I checked out YouTube, there are some other Kizomba styles that adding more footwork, in exchange to the glued-together-and-wiggling look.

I saw there is a bit of conflict between "Show and maneuverability" vs "closeness, intimacy and less mobility", just like in the Tango.


But you know what.

It feels so, really, good, if you hug someone that close and dance to the song. It was extremely relaxing. Who cares about the show?

Generally I like somewhat technical dances like Argentine Tango and West Coast Swing. But I'd certainly enjoy the Kizomba dance in the future. The Kizomba basic moves seem to merge well with Salsa music and dance for a change.

Give it a try. It feels so good.

Dance: A weekend of Tango, or, a better coordination of events requested

This weekend I attended Argentine Tango workshops by Hugo and Celina in Oklahoma City. As I wrote in one of this blog entry for their previous visit (Dance: Oklahoma Tango Festival 2013 Report ), Hugo was in the cast of the Broadway show "Tango Argentino" in NYC in 1999, and watching the show was a reason I started learning partner dancing. 14 years later I had an opportunity to meet him in person, and amazed how small the world can be.

Hugo and Celina's best friends and hosts in the US, George and Jairelbhi, are based on Dallas, and OKC is incidentally within a driving range from Dallas. It was fortunate to have them here. 

Speaking of George and Jairelbhi, Tango community in Tulsa, OK is inviting  them for a Tango event "OK tango" in Tulsa on 5/31 weekend. The event and the good instructors should be beneficial for the Tulsa community.

Now, back to the title's "request" part.

There are various Tango events going on in and around this city. So it happens, in this same weekend, another studio was inviting Salon Tango specialists from Buenos Aires. The event was sponsored by the Oklahoma Arts Council & The National Endowment for the Arts, so it was supposed to benefit this state's taxpayers through arts and cultural exchange. 

[Just adding short explanation for the word Salon Tango. Argentine Tango is originated in Buenos Aires, and there are many people dancing the dance in crowded dance halls there as a part of the culture. They developed Tango styles fitted to be danced in the social environment. Many socially danced styles are collectively called the Salon Tango. Salon Tango is often contrasted to the Stage Tango (or Show Tango) that we see in Tango shows and performances on stage.]

So, Salon Tango is socially danced style. Well-danced Salon Tango has unique appeal of intimate connection and subtle yet intricate moves, and can be striking to watch. Some people hold high esteem for the style as "our dance".

Stage Tango, in contrast, has general and immediate appeal to watch (if danced well). Hugo and Celina performed one of their routines during the workshop's lunch break in front of around 20 teenage kids happened to be in the studio for their ballroom dance class. And the performance seemed to be very impressive to the kids. The dance was impromptu service to the kids, but some of the kids may remember it for a long time.

Of course, even if the instructors perform Stage Tango in shows, it does not mean they teach  aerials and high kicks in their workshops in a group class format. I doubt any respectable professionals would do that, unless the workshop is specialized for the stage moves. Decent Stage Tango requires serious dance training, and is usually professional work.

Hugo and Celina's workshops were teaching solid basics, body usage and Tango styling. Patterns are mere tools to teach good "Tango". As "Tango is contagion. A best way to pick it up is through close contact with a heavily infected body (quoted from a book "The meaning of Tango")", sometimes you have to dance with a superb dancer-instructor and feel it to get it. In that regard, workshops with excellent instructors, regardless of styles, can be priceless. 

First of all, quality, not style, counts. This should be applicable to any style of Tango. Then you can appreciate the apparent differences in "styles".

So, when I knew two independent events, one by superb Stage performers and another by Salon Tango specialists, falling on the same weekend, I saw them as a missed opportunity. For myself and for the community.

Honestly, I was interested in attending the other instructors' workshops, if they did not fall on the same weekend. But I had to choose one, and it was a shame. Could it not have been a combined event, and arranged as a mini-tango festival featuring champion instructors from different Tango styles?

Local studios operate according to their own plans. Yet, a better communication and event coordination among studios would benefit middle-to-small sized cities such as OKC from the standpoint of whole community service.

I would love to see a better event coordination next time for the whole Tango and dance community's sake.

With Hugo and Celina