I went to Phil Washburn's funeral ceremony last Saturday. (See Aug 21/2012 entry "Life: RIP Phil").
There were many people. It turned out that they were from all different circles he belonged to. They wanted the ceremony to be something of celebration rather than mourning, and it succeeded. It was a very nice and memorable service.
Even more surprising was the variety of things he did in his life. His "in memory of" video was like someone's bucket list. What he did, in addition to pioneering IT job, include wrestling, Tae-kwon do, swimming, mountain climbing, hiking, triathlon, sky diving, volleyball, exercise class, and dances and dances (Argentine Tango, West coast swing, ballroom, country-western, folk dance, etc). Once he went to Argentina to dance Tango there. He "gave up Volleyball" to make time with Karen, his last girlfriend. The episode was hilarious.
Certainly the family wouldn't have a problem presenting what he did. It was already impressive. What I knew about him was only a piece of him, as in so many cases.
I don't think all of what he did reached to master-level. But he did well for most, and he did reach a master/champion-level for some. And the sheer variety, activity, and the passion behind them, were very, very, impressive.
In the reception afterwards, we were talking about how my service would be if I dropped dead now.
My wife said, "He loved dancing. .......A lot." Haha, that's good enough.
That's good enough. But what can I add to it? I am not sure about sky diving. But I certainly will add many to what I got so far.
Actually, to be truly memorable, you need to take the "Batman" strategy. Batman is a vigilante, a fearsome punisher to the criminals. That is who he is. Like the Batman, you represent one simple idea or slogan. Then "you become entirely different. You become an ideal.", according to Liam Neeson character in the Batman Begins. I find it true.
When we understand something or someone, our understanding begins with a simple, short one-liner. Take Abraham Lincoln. Who was he? A US president. What did he do? He led the North during the American Civil War and freed slaves. Then I can go on for details.
Or take Columbus. He "discovered" America in 1492. That's how we remember him. All his atrocious acts as a conqueror are left for college students to study in history class, but they are not really what he is remembered for.
This process of establishing identity can be seen pretty much everywhere, regardless of it being for a person or for a business or a brand or a product. Only when the identity (or the message/slogan/ideal) is sharp enough, it sticks to the minds of others.
Sure, we have all different aspects. I am a son, husband, scientist, dancer, author, blogger, cook, driver, handyman, teacher, boss, team member, customer, neighbor, etc etc etc. But which aspects represent me? That is up to me. We are flexible being and we become what we are over time by our choice. It is a fascinating aspect of life.
Thanks to Phil, I am inspired and taking my time to think about what I am going to add to my life.
August 28, 2012
August 21, 2012
Life: RIP Phil
I was checking out Facebook posts today around lunchtime, and found a post reporting the passing of Phil Washburn. I was in disbelief and commented, "WHAT?! What happened to him?"
Later, from what I heard, he had severe burns 5 weeks ago, and had been at the burn unit. He did not want to publicize his injury, so that his hospitalization was kept among close friends. Then after a short release, he collapsed from ruptured aortic aneurysm. He passed away last night.
To me, the news came so sudden. I was unprepared and shocked.
I befriended with him through Argentine Tango. He was an Argentine Tango dancer. I heard his name from his friend before I actually met him, though. "He (Phil) survived a road-rage stabbing incident ", that was the first time I heard about him. Right. Someone slashed and stabbed him in a road rage fight, and with critical injury he drove to nearby hospital to save himself. He was a survivor.
Once we met, he turned out to be the nicest guy around with great smile.
He was an active member of our small community of Argentine Tango in Oklahoma. One time we drove to Tulsa together to attend a milonga. He told me about his earlier jobs with humor. Another time he hosted a practica in his house in historic district in downtown Oklahoma City.
His Tango was pretty good. Probably he was among the most advanced you can find in the state of Oklahoma. If I apply my ridiculously high standard of watching dance, I wouldn't say he was the most skillful dancer. But I can say he was certainly enjoying every bit of his dance. I saw him practicing many new moves (like Volcada, Carpa, Sacadas and the variations), showing his willingness to make progress. Somehow his fun was quite visible, and that made me smile. You know, skills are nothing without emotion and passion. He had radiant fun in his dance. And it is rare.
He was a very active guy physically. He was even doing triathlon, for god's sake. Last time we talked, he was talking about some workout plans on the next morning. I said, "Yeah, it will make you stronger. ......if it doesn't kill you", and we both laughed. It is hard to believe such an active guy is just, gone.
To some extent, I am still in disbelief, and have not accepted his passing. Or, the news of passing. What I heard was just a piece of information, and I have not even seen him lying dead or anything. That even made me wonder, why such a little piece of information had such an impact on me? I was not physically hurt or anything, and nothing in my immediate world had changed. Some lines on my computer screen do that? ......We are under control of our perceptions, after all.
It may take some time for me to process the news. I will take my time on this side. You move on.
Rest in peace, Phil. I will miss you.
Later, from what I heard, he had severe burns 5 weeks ago, and had been at the burn unit. He did not want to publicize his injury, so that his hospitalization was kept among close friends. Then after a short release, he collapsed from ruptured aortic aneurysm. He passed away last night.
To me, the news came so sudden. I was unprepared and shocked.
I befriended with him through Argentine Tango. He was an Argentine Tango dancer. I heard his name from his friend before I actually met him, though. "He (Phil) survived a road-rage stabbing incident ", that was the first time I heard about him. Right. Someone slashed and stabbed him in a road rage fight, and with critical injury he drove to nearby hospital to save himself. He was a survivor.
Once we met, he turned out to be the nicest guy around with great smile.
He was an active member of our small community of Argentine Tango in Oklahoma. One time we drove to Tulsa together to attend a milonga. He told me about his earlier jobs with humor. Another time he hosted a practica in his house in historic district in downtown Oklahoma City.
His Tango was pretty good. Probably he was among the most advanced you can find in the state of Oklahoma. If I apply my ridiculously high standard of watching dance, I wouldn't say he was the most skillful dancer. But I can say he was certainly enjoying every bit of his dance. I saw him practicing many new moves (like Volcada, Carpa, Sacadas and the variations), showing his willingness to make progress. Somehow his fun was quite visible, and that made me smile. You know, skills are nothing without emotion and passion. He had radiant fun in his dance. And it is rare.
He was a very active guy physically. He was even doing triathlon, for god's sake. Last time we talked, he was talking about some workout plans on the next morning. I said, "Yeah, it will make you stronger. ......if it doesn't kill you", and we both laughed. It is hard to believe such an active guy is just, gone.
To some extent, I am still in disbelief, and have not accepted his passing. Or, the news of passing. What I heard was just a piece of information, and I have not even seen him lying dead or anything. That even made me wonder, why such a little piece of information had such an impact on me? I was not physically hurt or anything, and nothing in my immediate world had changed. Some lines on my computer screen do that? ......We are under control of our perceptions, after all.
It may take some time for me to process the news. I will take my time on this side. You move on.
Rest in peace, Phil. I will miss you.
August 13, 2012
Dance: solo vs partner dance
Over years I have danced with a lot of people. The experience enables me to tell partner's level and response, along with a lot of things on the spot.
Last weekend I had opportunities to dance with a Jazz/contemporary dancer in a social dance party. She had a fluid, light and nice feel, somewhat similar to the Natural feel. Since she had not been used to partner dances, her frame was soft and response was not sharp yet. But she followed well. I am certain she will be able to dance great before long. And I am also certain that she can easily surpass some long time but "mechanical" dancers pretty soon.
Those made me think about the necessities as a partner dancer.
Having fit, pretty, and moving-well body is one thing. Solo dances (hip hop, club, jazz/contemporary, zumba etc) can get you that. On top of that, to be a good partner dancer, you need to have a set of interpersonal skills. It is like two Karate guys; who can break things and who can knock out the opponent. It takes certain tenacity to dance with a partner well, or to knock out the opponent. And I value the "tenacity" highly.
To be a great partner dancer, you need to have both; the ability/skill to dance solo with an appeal, and the ability/skill to communicate, to feel, and to get the dance work together. It may be helpful to make conscious efforts to develop both abilities and skills.
I would come back and write how to train the latter skill, when I feel like it. As a matter of fact, there are many exercises you can try for the matter.
Last weekend felt like an eventful weekend. I went to a milonga, Watermelon festival and a social dance party. Briefly checked out a movie shooting, and had a long discussion about how to find one's life purpose. And, the Olympic Games closed. It was fun.
Last weekend I had opportunities to dance with a Jazz/contemporary dancer in a social dance party. She had a fluid, light and nice feel, somewhat similar to the Natural feel. Since she had not been used to partner dances, her frame was soft and response was not sharp yet. But she followed well. I am certain she will be able to dance great before long. And I am also certain that she can easily surpass some long time but "mechanical" dancers pretty soon.
Those made me think about the necessities as a partner dancer.
Having fit, pretty, and moving-well body is one thing. Solo dances (hip hop, club, jazz/contemporary, zumba etc) can get you that. On top of that, to be a good partner dancer, you need to have a set of interpersonal skills. It is like two Karate guys; who can break things and who can knock out the opponent. It takes certain tenacity to dance with a partner well, or to knock out the opponent. And I value the "tenacity" highly.
To be a great partner dancer, you need to have both; the ability/skill to dance solo with an appeal, and the ability/skill to communicate, to feel, and to get the dance work together. It may be helpful to make conscious efforts to develop both abilities and skills.
I would come back and write how to train the latter skill, when I feel like it. As a matter of fact, there are many exercises you can try for the matter.
Last weekend felt like an eventful weekend. I went to a milonga, Watermelon festival and a social dance party. Briefly checked out a movie shooting, and had a long discussion about how to find one's life purpose. And, the Olympic Games closed. It was fun.
August 9, 2012
Life: Love for the sport or love for the nation (us)?
I have been watching the Olympic Games. My favorites are swimming, Gymnastics and some track and fields, but the TV broadcast the Olympic Games as a package so I have seem many other sports.
Today's highlight was women's soccer final, USA vs Japan. Since I'm from Japan and living in the US, in theory either one wins, I win (haha). I was wondering how I'd react. I thought I might be very neutral, like last night's Beach Volleyball final, which was US vs US somehow.
It turned out I was more on "bummed" side by the US victory. I guess I was more Japanese at least when I was watching the soccer game.
Watching sports is fun. Sometimes I just enjoy the beauty of the sport as an art form. I don't care where Usain Bolt is coming from (Jamaica, in case you are wondering). It is thrilling to watch him run super fast. I don't really care where they come from when the athletes show something incredible, whatever it is. Synchronized swimming for example, is not something I see every day. But it is amazing. Really. And it doesn't matter to me which team wins.
But in some other cases, it comes down to result. One wins and another (or others) lose(s). Even though the Olympic spirits state "participation is more important than result", it can be easily forgotten. I'm sure many of us have been guilty of "Yeah, we won, they suck" mentality, myself included.
What makes the difference between the two, "love for the sport" or "love for the nation (us)"??
It seems my response is very context-dependent and flips-flops. Even if Team China wins over Team USA in a sport, if their art is convincingly good, I'd applause to Team China. I haven't invested much emotionally for Team USA for the particular sport. I have not "picked a side" for the sport.
Yes, the key words are "pick a side". If I don't pick a side, strangely I can enjoy more of the art/sport itself. "Us or them" is fun and add adrenalin to the game. Certainly it is one way to watch sport. "Wow, look at that exquisite play. Forget about where they are from" is another.
Either one way of viewing can work. It's not a matter of right or wrong. I'd be just amused by my own reaction and my own (subconscious) choice for the mode of viewing.
Today's highlight was women's soccer final, USA vs Japan. Since I'm from Japan and living in the US, in theory either one wins, I win (haha). I was wondering how I'd react. I thought I might be very neutral, like last night's Beach Volleyball final, which was US vs US somehow.
It turned out I was more on "bummed" side by the US victory. I guess I was more Japanese at least when I was watching the soccer game.
Watching sports is fun. Sometimes I just enjoy the beauty of the sport as an art form. I don't care where Usain Bolt is coming from (Jamaica, in case you are wondering). It is thrilling to watch him run super fast. I don't really care where they come from when the athletes show something incredible, whatever it is. Synchronized swimming for example, is not something I see every day. But it is amazing. Really. And it doesn't matter to me which team wins.
But in some other cases, it comes down to result. One wins and another (or others) lose(s). Even though the Olympic spirits state "participation is more important than result", it can be easily forgotten. I'm sure many of us have been guilty of "Yeah, we won, they suck" mentality, myself included.
What makes the difference between the two, "love for the sport" or "love for the nation (us)"??
It seems my response is very context-dependent and flips-flops. Even if Team China wins over Team USA in a sport, if their art is convincingly good, I'd applause to Team China. I haven't invested much emotionally for Team USA for the particular sport. I have not "picked a side" for the sport.
Yes, the key words are "pick a side". If I don't pick a side, strangely I can enjoy more of the art/sport itself. "Us or them" is fun and add adrenalin to the game. Certainly it is one way to watch sport. "Wow, look at that exquisite play. Forget about where they are from" is another.
Either one way of viewing can work. It's not a matter of right or wrong. I'd be just amused by my own reaction and my own (subconscious) choice for the mode of viewing.
August 7, 2012
Life: Birthday
Yesterday was my birthday. We had a nice steak dinner and went out to dance. Kakigoori (Japanese sorbet/shaved ice) and a footbath followed.
My mother called me in the morning. It was nice. A birthday is a special day for the family, especially for the mother.
Some Facebook friends kindly posted Happy Birthday notes. It was nice, too. Thank you.
Nowadays I don't really fancy cakes and presents for my own birthday (I will gladly accept them, though). Instead I use the occasion for planning and reviewing for the year. It is also a time for rebalancing my mutual fund accounts.
I learned that some religions don't celebrate birthdays. Strange. It is a very personal holiday, and a special day for you and your family. It would be important to think about the meaning of the day, at least for a short while.
My mother called me in the morning. It was nice. A birthday is a special day for the family, especially for the mother.
Some Facebook friends kindly posted Happy Birthday notes. It was nice, too. Thank you.
Nowadays I don't really fancy cakes and presents for my own birthday (I will gladly accept them, though). Instead I use the occasion for planning and reviewing for the year. It is also a time for rebalancing my mutual fund accounts.
I learned that some religions don't celebrate birthdays. Strange. It is a very personal holiday, and a special day for you and your family. It would be important to think about the meaning of the day, at least for a short while.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)