My wife and I turned out to have quite different personalities. When we talk at a length, we both tend to have amusing discoveries.
For example,..
When I get sick, let's say a cold or the flu, something not as serious as hospitalization or intensive care is required, I want to be left alone.
The reasoning is because I don't want to give this cold or flu to anyone, and because I believe someone is running around nearby doesn't really help me heal myself. It's basically my body's job.
So what I would do is primarily staying in bed and rest. As far as there are some stocked-up food and medicine, I would rather let my body heal itself. Alone.
She says otherwise. She wants to be taken care of. Even if she is staying in bed, she hopes someone to check in with her. That way she feels loved, and she believes it helps her heal.
A downside of the approach is that, all her family members tend to have a cold/flu at the same time.
The difference is coming from our difference in upbringing and psychological preference.
Sure, her family raised her in that way, and my family sort of quarantined me when I got sick. Upbringing has a lingering educational effect.
In addition, she is a feeler, and I am a thinker, in the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) personality categories. That preference is reflected in our liking.
Also from this discussion, what I noticed was that how strongly I tend to assume what she would want is the same as what I would want.
I need to keep this in mind. Our wants may be different. Otherwise I would be doing something she does not really want, with all my good intentions.
Over years I've learned to get along well with myself. Yet, getting along well with her is adding something else, something that is different from my natural preference, to me and probably to her.
On a negative side, the (forced) learning could stress us both out. On a positive side, we can learn something complementary from each other and come out fuller.
It's called relationship.
January 19, 2014
Life/Dance: Enriqueta's passing
I had the flu and was down. The flu this year did not really give me cough or sneeze, but just knocked me down with high fever and awful fatigue. It weakened me, and it might take a while to fully feel strong again. It was a nasty one.
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On 1/17/14, I attended a milonga in OKC. It was dedicated to Enriqueta Kleinman, who passed with heart attack about a week ago. She was a friend of Hazel at iDance studio, where many milongas at OKC held, and was an Argentine Tango instructor based on Buenos Aires. She was traveling cities to teach her version of Argentine Tango. It was a sudden passing, and shocked many who once were involved in her life.
She visited a few times to Oklahoma City, and left quite an impression among the Tango students here.
There are two types of dance instructors; Dancer-instructor and Teacher-instructor. She was the latter, with a hell of an attitude. Back in your kid's days, you might have had a teacher who left you an impression with her attitude? She was that kind of a Teacher-instructor.
She was a traditionalist. Also my take is that she was basically a Drill Sergeant of Argentine Tango.
The Tango being a social dance danced by all ages, you don't have to be a gifted dancer to dance Argentine Tango. Sure, some people have the gift and training, and can dance in Broadway as dancers. But it is not for everyone. As a live art, there are many different levels of Tango dancers. Sure, I respect ones whose dance has attained the level of sophistication. But they are not the only people who get this entire Tango business going.
Important thing is, everyone's got to start in some ways. And getting the learning started with a traditionalist way is a way to do it.
After all, tradition is a system that sorts people out. It can help you find your place one way or another. The military keeps Drill Sergeants in the training camp as a part of tradition. A part of reasons they are there is that it has worked nicely to mold new recruits to the system.
I think her character and her chosen role as the Drill Sergeant of Tango matched quite well.
For a character, you might have either loved or hated her. Either way, she was a memorable one. I say it is important. Rest in peace, Enriqueta.
******************************************************
On 1/17/14, I attended a milonga in OKC. It was dedicated to Enriqueta Kleinman, who passed with heart attack about a week ago. She was a friend of Hazel at iDance studio, where many milongas at OKC held, and was an Argentine Tango instructor based on Buenos Aires. She was traveling cities to teach her version of Argentine Tango. It was a sudden passing, and shocked many who once were involved in her life.
She visited a few times to Oklahoma City, and left quite an impression among the Tango students here.
There are two types of dance instructors; Dancer-instructor and Teacher-instructor. She was the latter, with a hell of an attitude. Back in your kid's days, you might have had a teacher who left you an impression with her attitude? She was that kind of a Teacher-instructor.
She was a traditionalist. Also my take is that she was basically a Drill Sergeant of Argentine Tango.
The Tango being a social dance danced by all ages, you don't have to be a gifted dancer to dance Argentine Tango. Sure, some people have the gift and training, and can dance in Broadway as dancers. But it is not for everyone. As a live art, there are many different levels of Tango dancers. Sure, I respect ones whose dance has attained the level of sophistication. But they are not the only people who get this entire Tango business going.
Important thing is, everyone's got to start in some ways. And getting the learning started with a traditionalist way is a way to do it.
After all, tradition is a system that sorts people out. It can help you find your place one way or another. The military keeps Drill Sergeants in the training camp as a part of tradition. A part of reasons they are there is that it has worked nicely to mold new recruits to the system.
I think her character and her chosen role as the Drill Sergeant of Tango matched quite well.
For a character, you might have either loved or hated her. Either way, she was a memorable one. I say it is important. Rest in peace, Enriqueta.
January 5, 2014
Dance: Grassroots dance
Yesterday my friend and I went to Tulsa for a monthly daytime alternative music milonga at Casa Tango. It turned out to be a big party. I was busy greeting and dancing Tango with many friends, and had a great time.
But in this blog entry, I am mainly going to write about another party afterwards.
Some people attending the milonga are also involved in other dance activities. Many dancers are not confined by only one dance. They love many other dances, too.
They invited us to a swing dance party held at a church, so we went.
There were about 70-100 people in an activity hall in the church, and dancing swing dance. Most were youth group (teens and in colleges, I believe), but there were some "mature" dancers, too.
I'd say the swing was generally East coast swing, with some flavor of the Charleston and Lindy hop, danced to 20-50's traditional swing music. Some kids and dancers dress in the swing dance attire. You know, the vintage-style clothes and hats and all.
A notable dancer was a lady in her 90s (!). A friend told me that she was one of the "Rosies". I did not know the word, so he elaborated. "Rosies" were women who participated in factory work during WWII to aid war efforts making war supplies, while men were out as soldiers.
My friend said, "She made B29 in Wichita". Wow.
Sure, I am from Japan and if I think about it, the B29 bombers were probably used to air-raid and burn many cities in Japan. As a kid I learned that there is a layer of burned soil underground in many Japanese cities because of the WWII air raid. But hey, my policy for history is that let bygones be bygones, if the bygones do no good for the future. Probably that makes me a future-oriented pragmatist rather than a grudge-holding nationalist. Since I did not get involved in WWII in person, it is easier for me to think that way.
Later I asked her a dance, and we danced. She was very nice lady with great smile, and seemed to be enjoying dancing.
They have the swing dance party every week on Saturdays. It turned out that the party is what the friends started about 2 years ago.
I was glad to participate the party. That is the way a tradition of swing dance, or probably any social dance, is preserved in the people. It is a grass roots effort. I was very impressed by the successful going.
Old school swing dance became fad in the 90's. I thought the boom died down for a while. But the dance goes on in these community efforts. I like it. I hope the party will go on strong.
But in this blog entry, I am mainly going to write about another party afterwards.
Some people attending the milonga are also involved in other dance activities. Many dancers are not confined by only one dance. They love many other dances, too.
They invited us to a swing dance party held at a church, so we went.
There were about 70-100 people in an activity hall in the church, and dancing swing dance. Most were youth group (teens and in colleges, I believe), but there were some "mature" dancers, too.
I'd say the swing was generally East coast swing, with some flavor of the Charleston and Lindy hop, danced to 20-50's traditional swing music. Some kids and dancers dress in the swing dance attire. You know, the vintage-style clothes and hats and all.
A notable dancer was a lady in her 90s (!). A friend told me that she was one of the "Rosies". I did not know the word, so he elaborated. "Rosies" were women who participated in factory work during WWII to aid war efforts making war supplies, while men were out as soldiers.
My friend said, "She made B29 in Wichita". Wow.
Sure, I am from Japan and if I think about it, the B29 bombers were probably used to air-raid and burn many cities in Japan. As a kid I learned that there is a layer of burned soil underground in many Japanese cities because of the WWII air raid. But hey, my policy for history is that let bygones be bygones, if the bygones do no good for the future. Probably that makes me a future-oriented pragmatist rather than a grudge-holding nationalist. Since I did not get involved in WWII in person, it is easier for me to think that way.
Later I asked her a dance, and we danced. She was very nice lady with great smile, and seemed to be enjoying dancing.
They have the swing dance party every week on Saturdays. It turned out that the party is what the friends started about 2 years ago.
I was glad to participate the party. That is the way a tradition of swing dance, or probably any social dance, is preserved in the people. It is a grass roots effort. I was very impressed by the successful going.
Old school swing dance became fad in the 90's. I thought the boom died down for a while. But the dance goes on in these community efforts. I like it. I hope the party will go on strong.
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