But around here, we are just not used to it. We do not have ice/snow-proof infrastructures and the power lines are not buried underground. Frozen tree branches came down to disturb power lines so easily. Thanks to that, I got 8 hour power outage and 2-day internet disruption during the weekend.
I am not writing this to whine. I am writing about the weather condition to talk about a book I read during the weekend. Thanks to the icy road condition, I canceled my plan to go to Dallas and read a few books instead.
One of the books was "The Love Matrix (恋愛マトリックス) ". It was a book about relationship. The author is Dr. Goodwill, who has a PhD and runs a popular relationship counseling website in Japan.
I read a few of his books before. Perhaps because of some similarities in our thought processes (we do have PhD in science), I've liked his honest and insightful writing.
Now, in the book, the author asserts that when a man sees a woman, he gives her a position in his mind-map, the Love matrix.
The author came up with this simple two-standards matrix, based on a notion that humans are animals and their judgement is affected by two major instincts, sexual desire (sex) and self-preservation.
A: Sexually attractive
B: Sexually unattractive or neutral (Sex instinct)
C: Helps his survival
D: Does not affect his survival, neutral
E: Jeopardize his survival. (Self preservation instinct)
How he sees her and how he acts depend on her position. A-C is the best for her, and B-E is worst for her.
An example: He would not do much for her if she is not sexually attractive (B) (ouch). But if she provides a cozy place (C), he values her and she still has a chance to get him.
Or, even if she is attractive (A), if she complains a lot or is no help for him (E), the relationship can go sour.
The positioning can change as well. Her attraction can (will) go down over time (A to B).
The author's message was to assess each other's positions and act accordingly.
This is a bluntly simple view for love and relationship or what. I kind of liked it. I laughed, in fact.
Just give this simple view a try. You can see your relationship from a different standpoint and you may realize something.
[The book cover]
He also stated that there may be some other standards in human mind, which are "Guilt" and "Conscience". These two emotions can stand up against sex and self-preservation, according to his case studies. He speculated that the strength of these emotions might have come from humans' choice to live in a group or society.
I am a scientist. I enjoy watching or testing whether the author's hypothesis/model is true or not for a majority of people.
