Once upon a time, there was a girl. She did not like her home where they were trying to teach her to be independent in the future. What she really wanted was to be a child a little longer, and an easy life, in her opinion, that she did not have to earn independence. In her ideal home, she would be accepted unconditionally by the family and all she should do was to comfortably serve her family, then everything should be alright. So she ran off the home, and met an old, controlling Mr. Pimp.
Mr. Pimp granted her wish. He made her feel she was loved, while he took away all her means to be independent in the future. He told her what to do. He told her what to think. She was very split. She was unhappy, but a part of her was accepting the situation. He told her that this was what she wanted. She began to tell herself that this was what she wanted.
In fact, Mr. Pimp was desperate, too. His wife left him earlier. He only had fake or shallow friends and he was lonely. He was poor. He got sick occasionally, and was physically feeling he was aging. If he lost her, there wouldn't be another convenient girl. He deluded himself as a real man by accompanying and controlling the much younger girl. He could forget about his dead end job and his own life with few achievement. If she left, he wouldn't be a real man, would he? In the sense, he was not even a good pimp albeit his name. He was more like a stalker, another one who was dependent and needy.
From Mr. Pimp's standpoint, it was not convenient for him if she gained financial or mental independence. So he took her means away. He had no interests in her future. To him she was a toy or a trophy until he dies. He isolated her, had her tell her email password and watched her emails, watched her phone calls, cut her off from her family, friends and facebook friends. It was against his best interest for her to become independent. And he made her feel that she volunteered all those.
From a third person's standpoint, she lived a life not unlike a battered wife on denial, and Mr. Pimp kept her under his control, thinking his life was good, while it actually was despicable.
Is this story going to end this way?
Today, America celebrates Independence Day. The nation took action against the ruling Britain and declared independence in 1776. Independence is not about parade, BBQ and fireworks. Independence is about how you regain your lost power. Declaring independence is a step toward empowerment.
History tells you that there was a lot of conflicts inside America at the time. The nation was divided to pro-Britain and anti-Britain. Of course! The ruling and controlling party will attempt to divide the ruled. Throughout the history it has been a standard procedure for the rulers to "divide and conquer".
The struggle for independence is not only for the nation or for the old patriots. The struggle is very much alive for everyone. It is an ongoing struggle for the runaway girl. She may be very split inside. She may want to be dependent and live with Mr. Pimp. Or, she may want to take a step toward independence and get out of his place. Struggles for independence happen both inside and outside.
America took action and took a step on this day. It is the will or courage toward independence and the action that we celebrate today.
I don't like this "a girl and Mr. Pimp" story as it is. I hope the girl and Mr. Pimp story ends happily for the girl. But it is she who decides how the story goes. If she decides to take a step toward independence and take action, the day will be her Independence Day.
