Life: Memorial Day 2014, or, How do we remember?

It's Memorial Day holiday in the US. Officially, fallen public servants such as military and police officers are remembered. In a more expanded practice, someone or people close to us and passed away are remembered on this day as well.

When we remember someone, there is always judgement on our side involved.

We may remember a person with positive light, negative light, or with mixed feelings. 

Alternatively, we may choose not to remember the person at all. Maybe as a form of personal punishment or revenge, that reflects our negative judgement. Maybe remembering is still emotionally disturbing, in which case is personal protection.

So, how do we reach to our judgement?

Memory is created when we perceive ongoing event. So our perception can affect it.

Memory is narrated and given a meaning in our head. That creates associated emotions in our heart. The narration and meaning, or what we explain to ourselves, and associated emotions, are main ingredients of the judgement we pass on to the memory.

Then later we remember the event with the judgement and emotions. Like they say, we remember how the person made us feel. Emotions tend to linger stronger than what we thought at the moment. 


From this line of thinking I draw a few lessons for myself.

Firstly. Memory depends on my perception and judgement. So it can be highly biased and personal.

Secondly. My judgement was what I chose to make. I may have a tendency to see an event in one way, but there are other ways to interpret the event, which may lead to other ways to judge the event. Childhood memories can be re-interpreted through adults' eyes, for example.

Thirdly. I do not want to be negatively affected by mere memories. I'd rather choose positive view for my memories. Choosing to live with negative memories are like poisoning self. I'm not going to like it.


Finally. The fallen, they had their lives. Only when we let their lives affect our life through our memory, they may live on in us. How much power they have on us depends on us. In the sense, they are utterly powerless but can be powerful.

Memorial Day is a special day for me to remember all these things.



PS
I do like to plan ahead. And believing in Karmic law in life, I consider the influence of my past actions projected on to my current and future life. To plan ahead with accuracy, I want  my memories, assessments of my past, to be as close as to the "real" events.

Probably this is why I value honesty. I like bitter honesty better than sugar-coated words to please, because pleasing words would skew my views and eventually blind me.

PS2

Yesterday I washed my cat. There is a skunk occasionally wondering around the neighborhood, and he absorbed the stench. Fortunately the bathing solved the problem.