It's almost Valentine's day. Thinking about love may be seasonal.
There are many kinds of Love.
I learned in Greek philosophy class that there are three different kinds of love as they described.
God's unconditional love (agape)
Physical/sexual love (eros)
Friendship/family love (phila)
...but I'm not going to discuss them here. Instead,......
During a discussion with my wife I came to another categorization.
They are, Motherly love and Fatherly love.
(Stereotypical or sexist? Probably. But let's start from this categorization for now for the ease of presentation. Actually, we touched this topic during a parenting discussion.)
Motherly love is more hands-on, kiss-kiss-hug-hug-I-watch-and-care-you-dear-kind of love. It may be likened to the touch and feel, sensuality-rich love. Babies and young kids need these kind of love.
Fatherly love is more hands-off, watchful but not very intervening. It may look more stern and cold from a mother's standpoint. I can see why Christian God is refereed to be "Father". He may be loving, but the love is not necessarily through motherly touch. They even said "God is Word". The love may be expressed through command and direction.
There is a reasonable role difference in these love.
Now I point out here that we are only human. We tend to forget there are many kinds of love. We tend to judge love by the kind of love we practice.
A mother who loves her child very much might overlook the presence of another kind, fatherly love, by the father. She can see her kind of love. But fatherly love by the father may not be acknowledged or appreciated well enough by her, if she measures love only by how many times he hugs the kid.
Especially, if she grew up in a fatherless family (or he grew up in a motherless home), and has not seen much of the other kind of love in action, it may not be easy for him/her to recognize or appreciate another kind of love.
I believe it is good to have a good balance in these motherly love and fatherly love in a family. Each gender or each person may have a "natural" preference, but both love can be practiced by one person. Sometimes a mother has to be stern, and a father has to be hugging. It's a role differentiation. Associating them to genders may be misleading.
After all, I may be cheering for a person who can recognize and practice both and balance them well. The person would be a good parent, not only a good mother or a good father.
Or, I may be cheering for a couple who can balance them well.
Well, it is a little hard to conclude this post. And no, I am not writing this post as a feeble rebuttal to my wife who outargued me. Absolutely not.
[A note. I am not exactly advocating so called traditional mother-father-kid family here. I know there are many other forms of family, and such avocation seems too judgmental or bigot for my taste. What I advocate here is a good mix of Motherly love and Fatherly love. And I believe it can be achieved by many forms of parent(s) (traditional, gay or single).]
